Dear Coquette: On what's wrong with you.

Dear Coquette,

I’m in my second year of university and for the past while I’ve been feeling drained. I’m doing well in school and I make time to go out for drinks once in a while — I should be having a better time than I am now, shouldn’t I? What’s wrong with me?
Nothing.

I’m 25. I have a full-time job with health insurance, a secretary, an office and a paid-for parking spot in the city. Why am I unhappy? Why do I want to give it up and go back to school? I’m trying to be happy with what everyone wants but I can’t. What’s wrong with me?
Nothing.

I just worked my ass off on a project at work. Lots of people are congratulating me … but when I hear it, it just falls dead. What’s wrong with me?
Nothing.

I don’t know what to do with my life, and I have absolutely no motivation to find out. What’s wrong with me?
Nothing.

Sex is just so complicated and I always get so nervous and psych myself out that I let it ruin the experience. What’s wrong with me?
Nothing.

I can only come in one position. One position. It’s universal — every man I’ve been with, I can only have orgasms in one damn position! What’s wrong with me?
Nothing.

I’m 21 years old and I’ve never been out on a date. I’ve got plenty of friends and I don’t think I’m boring, so what’s wrong with me?
Nothing.

When boys like me, I get weird. I will like them and flirt with them, but as soon as they want to hang out, I freak out and try to come up with excuses not to. What’s wrong with me?
Nothing.

I really really like this guy. But sometimes when we’re together I get really worried. I worry about when we’ll stop liking each other. Why can’t I just be happy? What’s wrong with me?
Nothing.

I’ve never been in love although I’ve dated plenty of guys. What’s wrong with me?
Nothing.

I always think I’ll be happier someplace else. What’s wrong with me?
Nothing.